It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
how drunk are you?
Several
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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