...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You took a bar mat shot.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
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What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
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My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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