I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
