They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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