and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
its liver damage thursday
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
