Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
