Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
