I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
send nudes
from the living room?
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