No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think your dad took our porno
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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