Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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