They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
