When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Randomize
