How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize