hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
40s are totally the cure
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
