all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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