When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
