The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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