She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
