no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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