At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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