there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
