I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
