we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
