this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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