i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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