i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
True college students do jello shots in the library
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
