i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
