So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
