i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
