When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
