At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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