i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
