i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
