Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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