The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
