It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
