And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
