question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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