I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
