I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
