i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
