Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
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Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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