whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
