The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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