it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
