why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
