I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Shame - the story of my life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
