Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
