Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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