Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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