my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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