He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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