Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
