As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
