I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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