It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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