Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
