my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
