Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
