Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
In other news, I just burned my penis
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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