The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
