This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize